Ho ho ho!

It's that time of year again... time for Santa to dig himself out from his elf-and-reindeer hogpile, wash the vomit off his pants and join us for a madcap drunken joyous wandering of the city streets we know and love.

When: December 16th, 2006 10:10:10AM
Where: (Check here the night before, suckas)
What:???

Santacon is your opportunity to be Santa! You MUST dress like Santa, you SHOULD ho-ho-ho like Santa, you OUGHT TO give out gifts like Santa and (of course) YA GOTTA drink like Santa.

Is this some kind of political statement?
No. It's fun. Remember fun?

Who's in charge? SANTA.

SANTA'S RULES:

* Santa looks like Santa. Holiday apparel is mandatory. A Santa hat is not enough. Get a Santa suit. Buy a Santa suit. Make a Santa suit. Steal a Santa suit. Get creative: be a Secret Santa, a Santasaurus, Candy-cane, a Reindeer, a Chanukah Chicken, a goddamn latke. Just don't wear your fucking jeans.
* Santa acts like Santa. Be jolly. Belly-laugh. Let people sit on your lap. Give out gifts.
* Santa doesn't talk to the press. "Ho-ho-ho" is good. "Publicity ho" is lame.
* Santa doesn't get arrested. Please remember the FOUR FUCKS:
1. Don't fuck with kids.
2. Don't fuck with cops.
3. Don't fuck with security.
4. Don't fuck with Santa. (yeah, it's okay to fuck Santa)

SANTA'S GUIDELINES:
It's a long day, so be prepared. Here's some tips to keep your sleigh running all day.

* Dress warm. It's the northeast. It's winter. Wear layers so you'll be comfortable anywhere from the North Pole to the strippers' pole.
* Bring a Metrocard. Santa doesn't like waiting for your sorry ass to use the machines.
* Stay with the group. We're experimenting with a text message chain this year, but technology fucks up. Go with friends and call one of them if you drunkenly wander off. Try not to drunkenly wander off, though. How hard is it to lose 500 Santas?
* Stay hydrated.
* If you can't stay hydrated, stay liquored up. There will be bar stops, but they can be short and crowded. You are responsible for your own inebriation. Santa is not advocating breaking open container laws! Santa's just sayin'...
* Don't be "that" Santa. Your friends want to have fun, not scrape the puke outta your beard or prevent your wasted ass from wandering into traffic.
* Pay your own damn bar tab. Tip bartenders well for putting up with us.
* Santa does not make children cry (unless they whine, snivel, or otherwise deserve it). Really - If you see kids, give them nice toys, candy, or something pleasant. Feel free to urinate on the parents. Tourists fall somewhere in between the two -- adjust depending on their attitude.